Matt Hardwick (matthardwick) wrote in petsforpeace,
Matt Hardwick

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Howdy, folks, my name's Loki.[:-P I'm a dog from Boulder, Colorado, here to introduce my "uncle" Matt's interesting commentary about this Yahoo! article he found.

I'm a golden retriever about 3-4 years old-- you know, right around draft age! It's a good thing they don't draft animals for war. They may draft animals for job slavery, but at least it's not for war.

Although Matt's sister and her husband, my guardians, (that's what human pet owners are legally called in Boulder, BTW!) were flipping through the channels a while back and came across this special about the uses of dogs in violent human activities like police work, or protecting people, or even war, throughout the ages. (I forget what channel it was on...) They were talking about these dogs that were used by I think the Soviets as bombs during World War II. They were to be trained to be packed with explosives, then to crawl under enemy tanks at the Eastern Front. (Yeah, I know-- just when you think Human beings couldn't get any lower...:-()

(It didn't work, fortunately-- as it turned out, the dogs had been trained to recognize Soviet tanks, and not the other side's tanks. So as a result, when the dogs were set loose, they ran back to their own side. When at one point, an entire tank division had to retreat, the program was discontinued.:-D)

But even if I wasn't, I would still be against war. Human beings act so serious when it comes to war. Don't they know that life is meant for fun, and humping, erm, female dogs (I'm "People's Republic of Boulder" born and bred, what can I say?) and human beings' legs, and going on walks, and tugging socks, plush, squeaky carrots and bananas, and having your tummy scratched?

I mean, I can really understand about marking territory, but human beings take it waaaaaay too seriously!;-) Americans, Iraqis, the French, Afghans, North Koreans --well, maybe not North Koreans-- they all so good to lick, I would imagine. Why can't they accept that? I mean, don't they realize that opposed to say, cats (eww!) they're some of the nicest animals out there?

And don't they realize how good a compliment that is, in the scheme of things?

Anyway, I was bringing him one of his socks that I found, in the hopes that he'd have a tug with me. We did so for a little while, and then he asked me if I wanted to contribute to this here lj comm. I was skeptical --I mean, I can't type!-- but he said he'd transcribe my tapped-out words and let me look at it to see if it's ok. I thought about it, then tapped my left paw the morse code word for "sure".

I'll hand it over to Matt, but before I go, I just want to say that I really like the idea of this forum-- it's important to try one's best to include those beings, like pets, which have no voices.

Or which have voices, but voices that sounds like barks, or meows, or growls, or chatterings, or cockadoodledoos, or vocal mimickings of what someone said.

Here's my favorite human uncle. He may be my only human uncle, but even if he wasn't, he'd still be my favorite. So all you pets out there and the humans you own, here's a human I don't own, but I sure wish owned me-- Matt Hardwick!

Hey, thanks, Loki. Er, I might be owned by a cat one of these days; just not that much of a dog person. (Loki: That's alright, dude, I won't hold it against you!) Hey, thanks, Loki, you're alright. And, um, if I, uh, was a dog person, you'd be the dog I'd want to be owned by. (Loki licks Matt's hand) Hey, thanks again, thanks again. I love you, Loki...

(After Loki finishes liking hand, he taps that he loves me too, and that he wants to be let out into the back yard. Uncle Matt gets up, lets him out, then types the following:)

Um, right-- where was I? Oh, yeah-- posting the commentary from my lj on the, uh, waaaaay too serious human activity of, um, marking territory. As Loki put it so eloquently.

As it turns out, I don't have enough space it looks like for the reprinting of the entire commentary and article, so here's a link to it.
Check it out-- IMHO it's a fine example of one of the ways that people are acting humanely, and deserving of the responsibility to have pets...
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